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The field of Elpis flowers in Ultima Thule was one of my favourit places to be. It allowed me to be alone, no pretending to know what I'm doing, like I constantly have to around the scions or other allies. And it also connected me to my dearest friends. I miss them terribly, my beloved Hades and dear Hythlodaeus. Why, just why did they not stay? Am I not enough of the friend they hold dear, the original Azem?
They probably didn't realize that I finally remembered.
Dieing releases one's memories, as Hades told me, and I died often enough during the last two years. Only enduring through pure stubborness and the power of transcendence. At first I didn't even notice, thinking I merely blacked out during fights, until Zenos returned from the dead. Though unlike him I just possed my own body after it recovered enough, either through my astonishing regeneration abilities or allied healers.
Hydaelyn simply didn't want me to remember, after all she had a scripted plan what needed to happen and a fully conscious Azem would never harm Hades or Themis, so she sealed my memories. But the seal couldn't hold after her death, slowly releasing memories of the life of Azem, or rather Persephone as she used to be called.
The memories where interesting, showing me so much more of life in the old days than I ever knew, but they made me miss my friends all the more. Especially after having to fight Themis a second time.
I knew that I could go back to Elpis if I missed the old days, but that felt like cheating. They were gone, irrevocably. Everyone Persephone had known. And traveling through time was just ignoring reality.
Needing time to process was the reason for returning here, to the flowers Hades and Hythlodaeus created. During the struggles of the last years I barely spend more than two days in the same place, leaving no time to think. And now that there was idle time, everything my mind has pushed away came back with vengeance, turning my sleep into nightmares.
I laid down in the field, my long white hair surrounding me like a halo. Here, at the edge of the world, I didn't bother with glamours. My hair used to be black like my mother's, a common sight in Doma, but absorbing the light ether in the first had stolen all its colour and even left my skin a lighter tone. I didn't want the people of the first looking at me with pity, so I started to glamour it after the first symptoms showed themselves. Not like most of my body wasn't glamoured anyways to hide the scars. People already thought me a monster because of my strength, no need to look like one as well, thank you very much.
Lying here, my eyes closed, my thoughts wandered to my future. What would I do now? The scions have officially disbanded, leaving me stranded. I could return to Fortemps Manor, Edmont had adopted me after all, but needing to mingle with high society when I barely slept two hours a night would not be pleasant. Settling somewhere else seemed just as futile. There wasn't a place where my name, if not my apeareance, was not known. Everyone has heard of Yulivee, the Warrior of Light and savior of Eorzea, though most think me taller than 1,50. I didn't inherit much from my father, just the small size and slightly better senses. But that was probably for the best, prejudices against halflings may have gotten lesser, but still lingered. So not looking like a Mi'qote, just Hyur, even if not really doman like, was for the best. No matter where I went, as soon as problems arise, be it a new catastrophe or just looking for stupid shit, people would turn to me. Help us. You're the Warrior of Light. It's your duty. Why would they need me to deliver something that wasn't even a ten minute walk in the city? And even complaining after I do help them for nothing but scraps. Warrior of Light, don't make me laugh. More like the world's clean up crew and errant girl. I'm so tired of it all.
'I wish I could start a new life, where nobody knows who I am and I can just be myself. Where I don't have to fight and I'm not responsible for helping with even the smallest things.'
After saying my thoughts aloud I felt a gentle breeze caress me. But - there is no wind in Ultima Thule. Confused I opened my eyes, my surroundings had changed. Lying in a field of white and yellow lillies instead of Elpis flowers. The flowers seemed to be in a big stone building with besutiful stained glass windows and wooden pews. Maybe a place of worship? There were no statues or paintings of deities I recognised.
What in seven hells did I get myself into this time? Maybe using a place with concentrated dynamis to think wasn't the greateat idea...