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Ryo was sitting in his room, staring at the ceiling. It wasn’t a rare sight and hadn’t been for the past couple of days. After moving into his own house, there wasn’t anything other than Ryo’s own desire for adventure and knowledge that ever dragged him outside. He had no roommates to worry about why he hadn’t left his room at all that day, no voices in the hall to drag him back to reality, only himself and his confusion to keep him company. It wasn’t like he was depressed or anything, not in the least, but Ryo was the type to stay hyperfocused on one thing until he was able to figure it out and right now, that thing was Abel.
After his confrontation with Oscar, Abel had gone back to treating Ryo like nothing had happened. He still acted completely normally but maybe Ryo was just unable to pick up on any differences. The nuances of human behavior had always eluded him, after all. Even when his friends had told him he was an open book, Ryo never noticed any differences between how he acted in any given situation. He was just acting based on his own impulses and desires, but it seemed other people knew those desires pretty much as well as he did at this point, and that desire during the confrontation with Oscar was to kill Abel if he tried to interfere.
But he did interfere, and he was still alive, and he didn’t seem shaken up by it at all.
Nothing had changed. That bothered Ryo.
As he was contemplating this for the third day in a row, there was a knock at the front door. It was a bit muffled, but Ryo could tell it came from someone physically capable. Following the knock, the door creaked open and a very expected voice called out.
“Ryo? Are you home?”
Ryo rested his chin on his hand as he called back. “Yeah, I’m here Abel. What’s up?”
Ryo didn’t turn to face his bedroom door but heard the red-haired adventurer approach the room and stand in the doorway.
“I could ask the same thing. I haven’t seen you in days. People are starting to get worried, Sera especially. She thinks you ran off to go on some adventure by yourself. I got quite an earful about it this morning.”
“No, I didn’t run off.”
“I can see that. So what have you been up to?”
“Thinking.”
“For three days?”
“Yup.”
“About what?”
“You.” As he answered, Ryo finally turned around to look at Abel. Maybe it was his imagination but the adventurer seemed to turn just a bit red at this answer. Ryo paid it no mind and looked back up at the ceiling.
Abel sighed and started across the room and sat next to Ryo on the edge of his bed.
“Have you reached any… conclusions in your thinking?” Ryo looked at Abel who quickly looked away as soon as their eyes met.
Ryo squinted. “Yeah, I’ve reached the conclusion that you’re weird.”
Abel’s eyes shot back to Ryo. “Weird?”
“Yeah, weird.”
“How so?”
This time it was Ryo who sighed. “You’re acting totally normal.”
Abel tried to hold back a laugh but it spluttered out through his lips anyways. “I’m weird because I’ve been acting normally?”
Ryo bristled. “Yes! Acting normal after someone threatens to kill you is totally weird!” he snapped back.
Abel’s eyes widened and he stared at Ryo for a moment before his expression softened. “Oh. Right.” He trained his eyes on the floor. “I guess that is a bit weird.”
“Yeah, it is.” Ryo huffed.
Abel rested his chin in his hand.
Ryo’s eyes darted to the side to look at him.
Abel’s eyes were fixed on the window across the room from the two of them.
Ryo’s eyes narrowed in frustration. “So?”
Abel lifted his head up slightly and looked over at his friend, his eyes slightly wide. “So…?”
Ryo grabbed the adventurer’s cheeks. “Why are you acting so normal!?” He shouted.
The redhead moved the magician's hands off of his face. “Too loud.”
Ryo puffed out his cheeks. It’s your fault for not answering me.
Abel raised an eyebrow and smiled. “You're thinking it’s my fault you yelled, aren’t you?”
“No fair.”
“What?”
Ryo looked away from Abel. “You know exactly what I’m thinking but I never have a clue what’s going through your head.”
“Well then maybe you shouldn’t be such an open book.” Abel flicked Ryo’s forehead gently.
“Ow!” Ryo put his hands over the small red spot that Abel had left. “I’d rather get up on your level than you come down to mine.”
“I don’t think that will be very easy.”
“What, are you psychic or something?”
“No, you just suck at reading people.”
“Hey! Rude!” Abel chuckled and Ryo glared at him. He felt a new wave of frustration and threw his hands on top of Abel’s head, violently ruffling his crimson hair.
“Cut that out!” Despite his objections, Abel was still smiling as he tried and failed to move Ryo’s hands from his head.
“Ugh! Now I’m just even more confused!” Ryo continued, ignoring his friend's objections. He slowed his hands down and pulled Abel’s face towards him until their foreheads were resting against each other. Abel’s face once again seemed to turn slightly red. “Talking to you is as easy as it’s always been! What’s the deal!?”
Abel sighed again, looking away from Ryo. “Because it’s you.”
Ryo continued glaring at him. “That’s not really an answer.” The redhead seemed to be searching for an answer but Ryo got impatient and interrupted his thinking. “Nils said you seemed calm that night.” His hands fell from Abel’s head and landed in his lap.
Abel pulled away from him and sat up. “I seemed calm because I was calm.”
Ryo looked down at the floor, even more confused and frustrated. “Why?”
“Because I trusted you.”
Ryo could feel anger welling up inside of him at this answer. He was also starting to feel something else he hadn’t felt in decades; shame. Shame that his friend had put so much faith in him that he was ready to destroy. The two sat in uncomfortable silence for a minute while Ryo tried to figure out what to say. Unlike his impatience, however, Abel only sat quietly while his friend tried to sort out his thoughts. When Ryo finally did respond, it was quiet.
“If you trusted I wasn’t actually going to kill you, you think too highly of me.”
“No, I knew you were ready to kill me.”
Ryo’s eyes widened and he looked at his friend in shock. His friend who was staring out the window in front of them calmly.
“What I had trust in was that, if you did kill me, you would regret it.” Abel turned and locked eyes with the magician who could feel his shock growing to the point it might start trying to escape through his eyes.
“Of course I would have regretted it!”
Abel smiled as if they were having a completely normal and pleasant conversation. “Good, I’m glad.”
Ryo could feel his eyes filling with tears at the calm response. He closed his eyes and turned away from Abel. His voice was barely more than a whisper when he started talking. “I don’t get it. You talk about throwing your life away as if it’s normal. You seem more invested when we talk about where to get dinner.” He looked at his friend in desperation. “Does your life really matter that little to you!? That you can talk about dying just like that!?”
“Woah, calm down! Of course it matters to me!” Abel seemed to be growing more exasperated as Ryo talked. “But I told you that night, didn’t I? I’m willing to die if it prevents a war from starting.” He looked back out the window. “Especially if it means you aren’t the one causing it.”
“…”
Feeling the extremely intense waves of negativity wafting off of Ryo, Abel turned to see him pouting thoroughly. “I gave you an answer and you’re still frustrated?”
“Not frustrated anymore, now I’m just pissed.” Abel began laughing loudly at the retort and Ryo glared at him even harder. “Am I not allowed to be mad that my best friend is willing to die for the so-called greater good!?”
Abel wiped a tear from his eye and caught his breath. “No, no that’s fine! Feel however you feel.” Ryo raised an eyebrow at the response, still pissed. He looked down at the floor for what felt like the millionth time that day, a sullen expression making its way onto his face.
“You said ‘especially if it isn’t me’. So you would be more willing to let me kill you than someone else?”
“Mm, I guess so.”
“Why?” Ryo looked at his friend, who smiled back at him. His eyes were full of warmth and something else Ryo couldn’t quite figure out.
“Because it’s you.”
Ryo sat with that answer for a moment before grabbing Abel’s cheeks again. “Again with that!? What does that even mean?!”
Abel laughed again, though this time it truly seemed to be at Ryo. “I guess you’ll have to get better at ‘reading my emotions’ to figure out what it means.”
“Why can’t you just tell me what it means!?”
Abel stood up, pulling his cheeks out of Ryo’s grasp once again and stretched. “Not happening. Not right now at least.”
“Why not!?” Ryo stood up and watched Abel walk around the bed to the door, following him after a few seconds.
“Hey, let’s get something to eat! I’m starving.”
“Don’t ignore my question! If you ignore me any more, you’re paying.”
“I have no qualms with that.”
The two’s usual conversation began to flow and became harder to hear as they got farther away from the house. After three days of silence, the house was finally quiet.