Work Text:
Grab the Hi-Fi and RUSH!
You know the story, but let's do a quick review with Fast Forward, shall we?
Chai is a 25 year old boy who wants to become a rock star, but has never picked up a guitar in his life. To skip this painful step (trust me, I'm a guitarist), consider turning to Vandelay Technologies: a company that designs and installs cybernetic limbs. With a robotic arm, becoming a great guitarist will be a breeze!
During assembly, by mistake, he finds his music player implanted in his chest. But not all mistakes are harmful, in fact, now Chai can perceive a musical connection with the entire surrounding environment. Everything can be music! As my guitar teacher said to continue to get paid despite my poor progress.
Due to this production error, Chai is recognized by the company as a manufacturing defect and condemned to be eliminated. But he is certainly not a boy who gives up easily and with the help of his robotic arm, which also has an electromagnetic stick capable of quickly picking up pieces of metal lying around forming a guitar (shaped like the Gibson Flying V), he beats anyone who gets in his way.
During the journey he will discover uncomfortable truths about Vandelay Technologies and meet several people with the common goal of stopping the bad guys from implementing the SPECTRA project, which will allow the company to control people's minds.
And now that you know the story (more or less like I knew it during my middle school exams), let's press the Play button and enjoy the ending!
“Chai… I trust you. You know that, right?"
“T-thank you?”
“But does this seem like the way to answer her? Peppermint opened up to you, that's profound!”
“I know, Macaron! It's just that the elevator is almost at Kale Vandelay's office and we're about to beat him up and destroy his company, and I don't see what that has to do with it..."
“If you'll allow me some advice: I think we should focus on the final fight instead of the relationship difficulties between Mr. Chai and Miss Peppermint”.
“Cinnamon is right, we need to concentrate! We don't know what we will find up there, so we must be ready for anything and ready for the final battle!"
“You said it right, Korsica! This is our moment! Let's show Kale Vandelay what five terrorists motivated to destroy a company can do!
“Sir Macaron, remember our talk about using the right words to sell our case…”
“Right! Right! We good, Kale bad. Clear! Thanks Cinnamon!”
*dlin dlon* The elevator arrives at the floor, the doors open and our five heroes enter the office, with Chai in the lead, armed with a guitar.
“Hey but there's no one here! Are we sure we are in the right office?" Chai turns to his friends, placing his guitar on his shoulder.
“It's here, I can feel it…” Peppermint exclaims, angrily.
Suddenly the trap is sprung and four energy walls rise, trapping our heroes inside.
“Damn it, it was a trap! I should have seen it coming!”
“You should have, Korsica” Kale exclaims, arrogantly, entering the scene, “but you didn't. It's so difficult today to find a security manager who knows how to do his job well..."
“Let us out, Kale! We came here to force you to do with your company what we want!”
“AHAHAH! Macaron... It seems that you are not so different from me after all..."
“Shut up! We are brothers but we have absolutely nothing in common!"
“You say, little sister? You came here to tell me how to run MY company! To force me to make the decisions YOU want! Exactly what the SPECTRA project will allow me to do: directly control the minds of consumers!
“Wait, mind control? Is your plan to force people to buy your products?” Chai exclaims.
“Do you have any idea how difficult it is to create a product that people want to buy?? How big? How many laps? And the guarantee? What color? People are insatiable! But the SPECTRA project will allow me to get around this limit. I'll be the one to decide what's best for that bunch of indecisive insatiables! And I'll make a lot of money!"
“YOU'RE A MONSTER, KALE!” Macaron shouts, “you are creating slaves who will obey your will!”
"That's the same thing you were thinking of doing to me, you idiot!"
“No, it's completely different! We are the good terrorists guys fighting to take command of a bad company that we don't own and run it without experience!"
“Ah, Sir Macaron, you said that word again…”
“Yes! Right! Thanks Cinnamon! We are the good guys, without terrorists. We follow good ideals! We want to create a company that fights for the right causes, to change the world! A company that doesn't just think about profit but also a place where we can feel at home!”
“AH AH AH AH AH!”
“Hey, who's laughing?” Chai exclaims, looking around.
An old lady appears behind Kale “Mom?” Peppermint exclaims.
“Roxanne!” Macaron exclaims, “we thought you disappeared! What's happening?"
"Disappearance? But I have always been here... supervising the SPECTRA project with the only son capable of understanding its potential!"
Peppermint gapes at her, hurt, unable to say a word.
“Did you know everything from the beginning?” Chai exclaims, surprised, "then why did you stage this whole story?"
She moves in front of him to look at him better “Judging by your intuition you must be the new friend of my wretched daughter... Hello? Is there anyone at home? Do you know how much a company of this size is forced to pay in taxes per year? By staging my disappearance and temporarily registering everything in the young Kale's name, I had access to preferential taxation for young entrepreneurs! And without losing control of MY company!”
*BONK* Peppermint hits the energy wall with both arms “I HATE YOU! I've been looking for you all this time but you've always been here conspiring in the shadows! YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!"
“What did you do to her, Kale? You used SPECTRA on her, didn't you??” Macaron exclaims.
“Tsk, that's the problem with you communists: you think you're the chosen people, intrinsically good, chasing a better future... But human nature is rotten inside and Roxanne made her own decisions!”
“My corporate vision has always been clear and evidently goes beyond your understanding… And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a project to complete and many minds to infect. Goodbye little ideologues, and goodbye Peppermint. I wish you were more like your brother..." Roxanne concludes, walking away with Kale.
Our heroes were left alone, trapped between the four walls.
"Miss Peppermint, if there's anything I can do..."
“Stay away from me, Cinnamon! I don't need your help!" She blurts out, withdrawing into herself. “They've trapped us all like fools! We can't do anything anymore."
“Don't worry, Peppermint: we'll stop Roxanne and Kale, I promise! I'll get us out of here!"
“Sigh, and how? There is no way to penetrate this wall of energy!”
Chai brings his hand closer to the glittering wall “I perceive a sort of harmony... Like music! I just need to be able to concentrate..." He exclaims, closing his eyes.
“It's possible!” Korsica exclaims, “any electrical device has an operating frequency. But you will need a lot of energy to penetrate it!”
“Come on, Chai! You brought us this far, I know you'll take us out!”
“Macaron is right! If anyone can destroy something, it's you!
“I, Mr. Chai, like your trousers!”
“Chai, I… I trust you!”
With his eyes closed and his hand near the wall, Chai thinks "Thank you, friends, I feel your strength within me." A force field is created around his hand, which interferes with the wall's frequency. He opens his eyes “Now I'm perfectly synchronized! Just like a real Rockstar!” *CRASH* Chai releases all the accumulated energy at the right moment by opening a hole in the wall, which shatters as if it were glass. Everyone watches the scene enthusiastically, with wide eyes.
“Mr. Chai, you have shown the world what a rock star can do with trendy pants!”
“I don't need pants to be a rock star! But I'll keep them on anyway, just in case. And now let's go stop Roxanne and Kale!"
Meanwhile, in the sector of the company still under construction, Roxanne and Kale are walking in the middle of the construction site heading towards the operations center: the large computer room from which to launch the SPECTRA project and infect the entire population.
“Ah, I would like a decaf now... Hey you, builder robot! Go get me a decaf!”
"The decaf is finished, sir, only the regular coffee is left."
“There's no more decaf?? How could we have run out of decaf? Don't we pay for the supplies?"
“Oh now calm down, dear, think about how much you will be able to buy after putting SPECTRA online!”
“You're right, mother”, he exclaims, fixing his quiff, “you always know what to do!”
“I'm afraid you'll have to wait a little longer for your coffee!”
Kale and Roxanne turn: they are our heroes in full force, ready to fight.
“YOU AGAIN! How did you get out??"
“Does it really matter?” Chai exclaims. "But I know a place where you can't get out as easily: prison!"
“Umpf! Mom, you go ahead, I'll take care of them!"
Roxanne continues running towards the command center, while Kale takes off his cloak with one arm, revealing the black armor with the fiery red LED strips.
“You asked for it! And now you take it!"
“Peppermint, chase Roxanne! I'll take care of him!"
“Okay, Chai!”
*clack, tlack, clunk, tak* Chai's guitar composes itself “You're going to need more than decaf when I'm done with you, Kale! AAAAH!”
*TLANG* Kale parries the attack with his sword and looks Chai straight in the eyes, nose to nose “But look at yourself: without the robotic arm that I gave you you would be nothing! AAAAH!” With his other hand, Kale fires an energy beam that sends Chai flying backwards, but he lands as nimbly on his legs as a cat.
The match continues, with light attacks, dodges, heavy attacks, grappling hooks, parries, GO LIKE THIS and POWER CHORD, until Chai gets the upper hand. After one last powerful guitar slash, Kale flies back a few meters, then rolls on the ground.
“Ouch!” He exclaims, getting up, “if you think that it takes so little to beat me, you're very wrong! I CAN'T LOSE!" He presses a button on his suit “THIS COMPANY IS MINE! AND NO TERRORISTS WILL TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME!”
A giant, human-like flying robot lands right behind Kale, its large paws breaking the ground. The robot grabs him and brings him into the cockpit, which closes and takes a fighting pose.
“Oh ho!” Chai exclaims.
With a punch, the robot hits the ground near Chai, who is thrown back several meters and falls onto his back. Chai looks around: there are no escape routes and that big robot is pointing the palm of his hand at him, with a laser cannon charging.
“I no longer have a chance... But at least I bought Peppermint some time. I hope he can stop Roxanne..."
“Oh no! Chai is done for! And there's nothing we can do to help him!" Macaron exclaims, along with the others, from... wherever they are before pressing RT.
“TAKE THIS!!” Kale shouts, firing the beam.
Chai covers his eyes with his arm from the blinding glare, but then someone steps in, blocking the beam with a guitar until it uses up all its energy.
“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??” Kale shouts.
Chai is incredulous “But are you… Eddie Van Halen?”
Van Halen smiles at him “Let's teach this guy a good lesson!”
Chiai jumps up “Okay!”
Van Halen takes up his guitar. The pick lands badly on the strings [soundtrack: Top of the World – Van Halen]
“I don't care who you are! If you are against me, then you will suffer your fate! TAKE THIS!” Kale shouts, throwing a punch with his robot, but Eddie's powerful riffs literally blow off the components of his entire hand, and even part of his forearm, before they can hit him.
Chai takes a running start, jumps over the broken arm and then jumps again *BAM* throwing a guitar at the robot's head, which turns sideways as its jaw flies off.
Kale goes on the defensive, backing away trying to block Chai's powerful attacks. It's as if Van Halen's notes are enhancing his attacks. Ultimately, the cockpit is destroyed and Kale is thrown out of the giant robot, which blows into pieces.
The meeting is over: Chai is standing in front of Kale, on the ground and scared. He points the guitar at him “I don't need your robotic arm to be a rock star!” Then he turns to his friends “Tie him up! Nice tight! I have to go help Peppermint!”
Meanwhile, Peppermint chased Roxanne to the command center. The large room is made up of many computers arranged in a semicircle around the central computer, with the large screen at the top. But no trace of Roxanne.
“COME OUT MOM, I KNOW YOU'RE HERE!” He screams, continuing to look for her, but gets no response. Until…
“STOP!”
Peppermint freezes.
“Drop your blasters!”
Peppermint reluctantly follows the order, then slowly turns to Roxanne, who is pointing her blaster at her.
“I designed and built your robotic leg because you are my daughter, Peppermint. I did it so well that I then built this entire robotic limb company on my own. Look around! This was all supposed to be yours and Kale's! But not you, you wanted to put a spoke in my wheels! What an ungrateful daughter..."
“I always thought that you built me this leg out of maternal love, but today I understood... You didn't do it for me, you did it with profit in mind! This is why in all these years you have always put your company first, before me and my brother! You never loved us, mother! “
“Nonsense! Don't you realize the incredible technological progress that your accident has triggered? Today everyone can have fully functional robotic limbs, even better than the originals! And all this thanks to you."
“You were never there for me! Every time I needed you you were busy with your work and told me that I should stop whining and get by myself!"
“Do you know what it means to be the head of the largest company in the world? Do you know how much responsibility I have on my shoulders? You should show a little more gratitude for everything your mother did for you and your brother, and instead you tried to sabotage me from the inside!”
Roxanne begins to move, with her slow dance around Peppermint, approaching the central computer.
“You never cared about me! You used me as a guinea pig to test your robotic limb! And you don't even care about my brother, you just give him credit because he has the same corporate vision as you!"
“If only I could understand the grandeur of this project... If only I could imagine the boundless earning potential... But evidently your brother is the only one who can understand, because you are the failed daughter!”
*beep bop bup* Roxanne taps the keyboard, a robotic voice comes from the speakers “Activating SPECTRA” and a loading bar appears on the monitor.
Peppermint takes advantage of her mother's slight distraction and sprints, running to get her blasters and somersaulting behind the array of computers arranged in a semicircle. The shooting begins: mother and daughter exchange blaster shots while running, sliding and jumping from one side of the room to the other. Until Peppermint decides it's time to put a stop to it: she takes up her laser cannon, pulled out of nowhere, and blows up Roxanne's cover *BOOM*, throwing her to the ground.
The shooting is over: Peppermint approaches her mother and points the blaster at her. On his face you can still see the hatred and anger that he is struggling to hold back. He exclaims with a trembling voice and tears in his eyes “I just wanted a mother! Something you obviously don't know how to do! Because you can't think of anything but yourself and that's why you created SPECTRA, because you don't care what customers want, but only what you want!”
Peppermint lowers her weapon and turns, walking towards the center console. *beep bop bup* taps the keyboard and the robotic voice says “SPECTRA activation aborted”.
“I tried my best but I failed. I couldn't make you understand the importance of personal fulfillment..." Roxanne exclaims, shaking her head.
Peppermint doesn't respond and just lowers her head, withdrawing into herself.
“…but you won't ruin my plan!” Roxanne exclaims, pulling out another blaster.
Peppermint just has time to turn and see the weapon.
*BANG*
“PEPPERMINT!” Chai lunges at her, taking her to the ground with him.
With a blow of her sticks, Korsica disarms Roxanne, then points one at her nose “Stay where you are, Roxanne!”
Peppermint and Chai are on the ground but he doesn't move. She notices that something is wrong and turns him onto his stomach “Chai!”
He slowly takes her hand with his and looks at her smiling “A... I trust you too...” Then he closes his eyes, taking his last breath.
“Chai! CHAI, NO!” She shakes him, but in vain. She hugs him tightly “I love you! Don't leave!”
Macaron, Korsica, Cinnamon and Van Halen observe the whole scene in silence, until Macaron speaks “Chai was a great leader. It helped me overcome my fear of putting myself out there. I will remember it forever."
“I… I never realized what kind of people I worked for until I met him. He made me reflect on my life choices and I am grateful for that."
"Mr. Chai's vitality and light-heartedness were an inspiration to all of us."
“Maybe Chai has what it takes to be a real rock star. It's the first time I've ever said this, but in addition to the right attitude, a rock star must also learn to play the guitar... So get up, Chai. You still have a lot of work to do!”
“What are you saying, Eddie?” Macaron exclaims, while everyone looks at him like he's crazy.
Chai opens her eyes meeting Peppermint's green and red ones “This time you were really worried about me!” He exclaims, with a smirk, showing the metal arm damaged by the blaster shot.
“You… Stupid idiot!” She exclaims, and then hugs him tightly.
“Hey, not so tight! You're hurting me! Help!"
“Well, guys, my work here is done. It's time for me to go."
A red pentagram appears on the floor. Van Halen walks through it, disappearing amidst the flames and the screams of the damned.
And so everything is solved: Roxanne and Kale are escorted to prison by the authorities and the company rightfully passes to Peppermint. It's been a hard day, but now our five friends can relax, sitting on the grass on a promontory, watching the sun set on the horizon line, where the sky joins the sea.
“Hey, Peppermint, you seem worried about something…” Chai asks, seeing her looking at the horizon.
“It's for my family… I feel guilty about all this, I apologize…”
“Ah, don't worry... Even if your mother and brother are sociopaths, we still love you. Because you are you and not your family!”
Peppermint smiles spontaneously but masks it out of embarrassment, so Chai insists "Going back to before... Did you really say you love me?"
“I thought you were dying, Chai!”
“Come on, tell the truth!”
“Are you allergic to anything, Miss Peppermint? Your face is all red!”
“Now will you get involved too Cinnamon??”
“Guys, I was thinking…” Macaron interjects, “now that the company is ours we will have a lot of work to do. Getting the whole thing up and running is an enormous responsibility and now that we have burned billions in funding to get here, and the SPECTRA project has also gone up in smoke, how will we be able to return to the expected profits? If the majority shareholders smell that we are broke, this company will collapse on the stock market and millions of investors will lose a lot of money!”
“Well if it's for the good of others…” Peppermint turns to look at the horizon again, “we could take the SPECTRA project back into our hands. Maybe just for a while..."
“BRILLIANT IDEA!” They all exclaim in chorus.
Chai puts a hand on her shoulder “I will be with you, always”.
“Yay!” Macaron raises his fists in the sky, “The terrorists have won again!”
DIRECTED BY ELECTRIC SNEEZE