Chapter Text
Anakt University, where the wind blew through the campus walls. Where birds chirped and flew high. And spring was soon to come. Luka always dreaded this season. He was allergic to pollen and couldn't handle the smell of blooming flowers. It didn't bother him as much to skip his classes though. He didn't have much of a choice either way.
Luka tied his shoelaces together and slouched, pulling his school bag over his shoulder. He thought getting up earlier would help him stay awake longer for his classes, spoiler alert: it didn't. It just made him feel more like shit. Luka decided to put his contacts in instead of wearing his glasses. He didn't know why though. Maybe he just needed a change for spring. Luka stepped out of the apartment complex and began to walk to the university. It wasn't much of a walk, only ten minutes. He was early anyways. He felt his eyes burn, he couldn't get used to his contacts, although he's worn them before.
He arrived to his class for the day and pulled the door open, immediately glancing around to see if Ivan was there.
Ivan. Jock and captain of the football team. Luka's crush. He has always hoped that maybe, just maybe Ivan would arrive early too. Luka was usually earlier than other students though. That was only because he didn't want anybody to bother with him.
Surprisingly, Ivan was already here, in Luka's seat, phone is one hand, water in the other. Luka took a deep breath and exhaled, slowly making his way over.
"Hey, Ivan.. It appears you're uh, in my seat." Luka stood awkwardly around Ivan, unsure of what to do with his arms. His stomach flipped, it worsened the longer he stood.
Ivan set his phone down and licked his lips before taking a sip of his water. "Oh, I didn't realize." He grinned at Luka and moved to the seat next to his previous spot, patting the chair for Luka to sit. "My apologies."
Luka tucked a curl behind his ear and nodded. He noticed more people began to show up, his stomach was on the verge of pushing his breakfast back ups. He quickly sat down and began to pull out his things for class. "It's okay. Uh, how was your spring break?"
Before Ivan could respond, one of the cheerleaders came up to him and began talking about the next game, touching Ivan's arm a bit too much. He couldn't help but watch the girl. Luka had seen her around before, but she didn't seem to show interest in anyone who wasn't a cheerleader or a football player, which made sense. It made Luka a little envious that she could touch Ivan's arms and he could only watch.
Were they dating? He wasn't sure. He grabbed out his notes and began going over them to distract himself from Ivan and that girl. What if Ivan wasn't even into men? Did it even matter? Luka didn't even have a shot being Ivan's friend, it would take a million years just for Ivan to maybe hold Luka's gaze.
Luka placed his elbow on the table and leaned against his hand, doodling on his paper now. He smiled softly at his doodle. It was him and Ivan holding hands, hearts float around them. He made sure not to make it detailed so nobody could really tell what he was doing. Ivan glanced over for a second before kissing the girls temple, Luka wanted to hurl. The girl finally went off to her seat with her friends.
The professor walked into the classroom, students settling into its usual routine. Luka sat up straight, starting a new page for this weeks notes. He tucked the one with his doodle underneath and waited patiently for class to begin.
Soon enough, class finished up just in time for lunch. Luka was feeling hungry. He started grabbing his belongings and placing them carefully into his bag. Ivan poked Luka's arm and grinned. "What you doing for lunch?"
"I was thinking about going back home. My father probably has something cooked up." Luka pulled his bag over his shoulder, his face a little pink. Ivan nodded and waved, walking over to that girl. Luka walked out and began to head out.
In the hallway, two jocks appeared in front of him, smirking as they pushed Luka against the lockers. Acorn grabbed Luka's bag and pulled out the page of doodles.
"What's this? You and Ivan?" Acorn paused and smirked, "I knew you were a freak but damn, a faggot too?" Marty laughed and grabbed Luka's blonde hair, twisting it into painful curls. Luka tried to reach for the paper, wincing as Marty kept putting his hands on him.
"Wait until Ivan hears about this. You'll never be able to show up to your classes again. Just face it, a faggot like you couldn't ever reach him. He has a girlfriend." Marty pulled away and slammed Luka back into the lockers before turning to Acorn, snatching up the paper. All they could do was laugh.
Luka placed what was left his notes into his school bag and pulled it over his shoulder again. In the corner of his eye was Marty and Acorn, already on Ivan's ass about it. I'm such an idiot.
Luka plugged his wired headphones into his ears and pressed play. His eyes focused on the ground, making sure each step was precise. He began to think, what if Marty and Acorn had blurted it to the entire University? Luka would probably drop out, hell, maybe even leave the country. His father wouldn't let him do that though, not by a long shot.
As he continued walking, a hand touched his shoulder, stopping him in his path. He slowly lifted his head and turned, stepping back. Ivan?
"Hey uh.. What's up?" His voice wavered, god, he was just as pathetic as he sounds. What a ridiculous thing to say, you already know why he's here, Luka. He pulled his headphones out of his ears and fully faced Ivan.
Ivan removed his hand and stepped back, his jersey looked tighter than the usual.. "Marty and Acorn told me about the paper.. Look I just wanted to say-" Luka suddenly placed a hand over Ivan's mouth and nodded, silently letting Ivan know he already knew what he had to say.
Luka released his hand and turned away, moving back towards home. Ivan tried to tell Luka to wait, and that it was a misunderstanding and that they could talk about it, but Luka didn't move. He didn't want to know what Ivan had to say. He slapped a hand over his face and groaned, why did I do that? Touching his mouth? Makes me more of a creep, doesn't it..
Luka opened the door and slid down onto the floor against the door. He could hear his father on the phone with somebody in the next room. Luka sighed, slowly standing up to pull himself together. He grabbed his bag before walking to his room, closing the door softly. He wanted to avoid his father for now and just listen to his favorite music artist. Heperu had heard the front door open and close, the called ended and he made his way to Luka's room.
Heperu didn't bother to knock, he stood tall and leaned over his son. Luka barely had time to sit down before his father entered. He exhaled out of his nose, preparing for whatever his father needed to take out on him. "You want to explain why you're drawing you and some other boy together?" Luka's eyes went wide, Did Marty and Acorn.. Heperu raised his hand and slapped Luka.
Luka didn't flinch, didn't move. He didn't need to touch his face to know there was blood. It wouldn't prove anything more than it already did. "Father, I didn't-" Heperu grabbed Luka's face and leaned down.
"You didn't what? You didn't mean it, right? You didn't know? You're pathetic. I thought I raised you better than this, Luka." Heperu let go of him, letting Luka fall onto the floor of his bedroom. Luka reached for his chest with one hand and caught himself with the other. Heperu dusted himself off and stood straight. "If you're living in this apartment, under my roof, you're going to obey me and my rules. Which includes not falling in love with another boy. If I hear anything about him again, I'm canceling your tuition."
Heperu walked out of the room. Luka slowly stood up from the ground, wiping his bloodied nose. He grabbed his phone from his school bag and glanced at the notifications. Three messages from "Ivan." He shut his door and sat at his desk, wincing as he opened the messages.
Ivan: " Luka, can we talk, please?"
Ivan: " Are you ignoring me now?"
Ivan: " Marty and Acorn showed me the paper. Please call me when you see this. I don't want us to fall out of touch."
Luka glanced at his door and slowly pressed the call button, he didn't want his father to come back. Once he was sure Heperu wasn't near his door, he lifted the phone to his ear. One ring. Two rings. A third until Ivan's voice came through.
" Luka! Are you okay?" Ivan sounded concerned, why wasn't he mad? Why wasn't he upset at what Luka drew?
"Ivan- I don't think I can talk to you on the phone but," Luka took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm sorry.. I didn't realize how much this would effect anybody.." Luka began to cry, letting the tears fall down his cheeks. Ivan immediately panicked.
Ivan exhaled, he sounded exhausted. "Open the window, please."
Luka's head spun around and looked towards the window. Ivan had brought a ladder? For him? Luka put his phone down on his desk and moved to the window, opening it up for Ivan. After a few tugs, he managed it open. Ivan climbed inside and hung up the phone, shoving it into his back pocket.
Ivan sat at Luka's desk and ran a hand through his hair. "Luka, do you really like me that way?" There it was. The question he had dreaded long. He moved away from the window and nodded, holding himself. He felt hot, his stomach burning.
"I-Ivan.. I'm sorry that I.. I didn't realize how homophobic this city was until now. I really didn't mean for any of this.. I mean, I don't know if anyone has hurt you yet but.." Luka placed a hand over his mouth and gagged. Ivan stood and put a hand on Luka's back. Luka tensed under Ivan's touch and rushed into the bathroom, slamming the door. Ivan followed and leaned up against it, listening as Luka puked his insides out.
This is so pathetic, the most popular jock from my uni is here and I'm puking. I'm fucking puking. Luka pulled back from the toilet and held onto the seat. "Luka, can I come in?" Ivan knocked and slowly entered, he couldn't help but frown at Luka's shaking frame. "Are you okay?" Ivan kneeled down and helped Luka detach from the toilet.
"Luka, I have to tell you something.." Luka glanced up and wiped his mouth with his sleeves. He tilted his head and waited for Ivan to continue. The room spinned with anticipation. Ivan ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Luka, I don't care about the paper." Luka tilted his head once more, the room slowed down, his eyes closing. Ivan took Luka's hand and tried to pat him awake. "Hey, I'm not done yet.. I came here to say I really like you Luka. I know that's shocking but.. I think you're cool and pretty cute.."
Luka's eyes opened and they were wide. He grabbed the toilet seat and leaned over, puking once more. He couldn't believe his ears. He likes me? Me? Ivan moved his hand to Luka's back, rubbing in slow, awkward circles.
Ivan watched Luka and waited patiently for him to stop puking. Luka sure is cute when he's surprised!
Luka lifted his head and wiped his mouth, staring at Ivan with tears. "I thought you had a girlfriend.. T-That Mizi girl. The cheerleader." Luka coughed into his elbow, his head and his heart pounding. Ivan liked him. Ivan shook his head and took Luka's hands into his own.
Ivan laughed and slowly stroked his fingers over Luka's knuckles. "Mizi? She's a lesbian. Even if she wasn't, I don't like girls." Ivan stood and helped Luka off the tiled floor, intertwining their hands together. Luka's face reddened and looked away. He felt much more embarrassed than he already was before. Mizi was into girls? No, Ivan was into guys?!!
"Oh."
"Yeah, Oh." Ivan let go over Luka's hands and moved to hold his waist. "Do you like me back, Luka?" Ivan moved closer to Luka's face, grinning like an idiot. Luka stuttered and picked at the ends of his sleeves.
But then, Heperu walked into the bathroom. He was expecting Luka to be in there, but not with Ivan. Luka pushed Ivan away and stood up straight, swallowing the puke in his mouth. Ivan turned and looked at Luka's dad, "oh, nice to meet you Mr..." Ivan put his hand out for Heperu to shake with. Instead, Heperu stormed pass, grabbing Luka's shoulder and smacked his face.
"You dare bring this boy into my home after I say you shouldn't even look near him?!" Ivan's smile immediately dropped as well his hand, he tried to pull Luka out of Heperu's grip but unfortunately, his father was strong. Heperu turned and pulled Luka close to himself. "Get your hands off of my son, faggot. Leave now before I report you for trespassing."
Ivan glanced towards Luka, his heart breaking as his crush's body turned to his father's. Ivan rushed out and left. Heperu moved Luka in front of him and wiped his sons tears. "Father, I-I'm really sorry." Luka cried, he pulled away from Heperu and wiped his own tears. "I won't talk to him again, I promise.. Please allow me to a shower."
Ivan finally made it home, immediately running to his room. He wished he didn't have to go, that he could protect Luka, but Luka's father made it clear of what Ivan was to them. Ivan felt like the biggest idiot alive. He flopped onto the bed and began to text Luka, unsure of what to say. For the next hour, he was typing and deleting letters several times before finally getting a message typed to his liking. He exhaled and finally hit sent, letting go of his phone and laying back.
Ivan's mom knocked on his bedroom door before entering quietly with some cookies. She smiled softly and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I made you some cookies if you're hungry." She placed them on his night stand and moved a hand to his hair. "You doing okay?" Ivan nodded and looked away, he didn't really feel like talking to his mom right now. She sighed and stood, giving him a bittersweet smile before exiting.
Why doesn't she ever close the damn door? Ivan thought to himself and checked his phone for probably the a millionth time in the past minute. Nothing. He felt his worry grow more and more as Luka didn't respond. Ivan thought he was never going to be able to feel normal again.