Chapter Text
I really like Panic!At the Disco. And I have a crazy story to tell you about one of their concerts.
My name is Temprist. I do YouTube, and I’m a big fat fan of Flamingo. Slaps my big fat belly
okay anyways
Let me set the scene.
March. 2009.
I’m in the crowd of a Panic! At The Disco Concert. Their closing song had been “Do You Know What I’m Seeing?” And at the end.. Brendon walked up to Ryan.. and KISSED HIM!,!!,!,
I gasp and laugh, because I like gay people.
And then Ryan looks at me through the crowd of people, he grabs Brendon’s microphone and says
“Hey weird yellow alien thing get up here” he winks at me and I feel a rush of blood to my weiner
I crawl through the crowd and make my way on stage
and unlike other times, where I’m stopped by security, I make it on stage and I start giggling happily I make my way over to where brendon and Ryan are still passionately making out and I ask to join very quietly because I’m suddenly shy
“h-h-h-h-h-hey…… can I get one too”
Brendon tugs at my crisp white polo and I fall into their kiss almost like magic, my weiner flies out of my pants and starts spurting confetti like it’s a quinceanera.
Brendon gets down on his hands and knees and starts licking the confetti. He spits some of it out and keeps going
Ryan, ever the aroused, starts making out with me as Brendon sits on the floor, still eating confetti. Eventually, the crowd leaves because they’re so fucking disgusted.
I kneel next to Brendon and wipe the confetti from his face
“Thanks vro ”
“No problem brah”
Ryan helps both of us up, and we head out to bredon urie pirple minuvan We drive to the nearest hotel, and Brendon pulls out a black card and flashes the card at the lady at the front desk who literally just moans and collapsesRyan drags us both to the neerstsy srtsoo,:m and starstrtts takeing lafyff ours is clothesansc brenefin maons and we all ggggstst on tehegh befed yogereyr, me oneetop ofh brendieh naf ratyan osn tosop ofdf me wee geo ajtst its fir lietersraly hosjrs like mieco asnf i slieteal.y alsmot passsgf osut ryhsrife
After we’re done, we all curled up together and slept. The morning after it was a teensy bit awkward. Ryan and Brendon had been high during the show and didn’t remember jack shit.
They keep me around though, and we head out for breakfast. New York’s food is literally a dumpster fire mash of food, and I don’t like bagels. Or pizza. I might lack toes and taller ants.
We got paninis I think, but I don’t know what that is. I think it had milk.
On my way home, I saw a familiar scary purple van behind me I pull over onto the curb of a club, where I had to sneeze.
I got out of my car to sneeze because I don’t like germs.
I sneeze, and then when i stand back up because I fell, I feel the headlights of the minivan on me. From the minivan, I hear the catcall of Ryan “damn that ass fat” I giggle and clap my hands like a toddler and suddenly the street is filled with 2763 toddlers all clapping and laughing. They both get out of the minivan, ignoring the now crying babies in the street.
A guy appears in front of them and whispers “I like trains” and all of the babies die from vehicular manslaughter.